Relationships between mothers and daughters can run the gamut from close and loving to practically non-existent. And for many a woman whose relationship with her mother is strained or otherwise uncomfortable, it can be challenging to know how to do better in their own relationships with their daughters.
In a recent video, TikTok creator, Cree Robinson, asked to hear from “the girls who have great relationships with their moms” to know how to build a solid foundation as a mom.
“To the girls who are really close with their moms: what’s one thing that your mom did while you were growing up or still does that makes you want to have a close relationship with her now?” she asks.
“Because I know a lot of women, myself included, who either don’t talk to their moms at all or who do not have a good relationship with them, who have had to cut them off for whatever reason.”
“My twins are only one now,” she continues, “but when I think about my baby girl, these are things that I think about a lot as I see so many adult women who have strained relationships with their moms. I want to hear from the girls who have great relationships with their moms. What is it about your mom that makes you want to stay so close to her?”
Robinson’s replies, with more than 58,000 comments as of press time, was full of advice that, like mother-daughter relationships, ran the gamut from cute to cautionary.
While some replies were simply expressions of solidarity with Robinson, lamenting their own difficult relationships with their moms, most were sweet odes to the things commenters’ moms did well.
“She created an environment where I can be myself. She never judged me and only offered her guidance. She never tried to be perfect, she shared her shortcomings. I could write a book!” offers @theekeynicole.
“Always made me a priority, acts of service on every level, words of affirmation, always available for a cuddle, celebrated me,” says @ali610841. “Basically every love language expressed.”
“My mom is an introvert,” explains @joikristen. “I would go into her room and just lay in her bed with her to watch a movie nothing really said. She would just let me lay my head in her lap and stroke my hair. Loved me in silence.”
“My Mama never lost her inner child,” @iriadicae observes. “She still sings and dances with me in the kitchen, we still enjoy the same movies. I can talk to her about anything she is incredibly empathetic.”
But not everyone had words of encouragement for Robinson.
TikTok user @lifeonyourtermsshop scoffed, “It’s simply a choice to be a good daughter. Society has put pressure for estrangement. This is a maturity issue.” The comment has more than 7,000 likes, but also more than 1,600 replies; most, but not all, taking umbrage with the idea that the responsibility for the relationship lies with the daughter.
Overall, however, the comments section created what Robinson described to one follower as “the playbook” for a better mother/daughter relationship and many expressed gratitude for the insights.
After all, when all you personally know is what you don’t want to be, it can be hard to know what to as you forge a better path forward. So mothers, take note… and maybe bookmark this video.
