Wulf’s Den: Finding a purpose after the Full-Sentence All-Stars

Eventually, everything, maybe everyone, outstays its welcome. So it is that we arrive at the selection of this year’s Full-Sentence All-Stars.

As a proud parent, it’s important to recognize when the team you’ve created and raised is ready for life on its own. The Full-Sentence All-Stars have become self-sustaining. Of the 22 starters on offense and defense, only four are first-timers, including just one on a loaded offense. To some degree, the team might be too good.

Rules refresher.

*First-time FSAS

And that’s it. If you love something, let it go. Then go out and find something new.

Bo Wulf: I’ve got a very dumb line of questioning for you.

Boston Scott: Uh oh.

Wulf: So, you’re one of two guys on the team who have only one of, like, one vowel in their first name and last name. You’re all O. You’ve got three Os.

Scott: OK.

Wulf: First of all, do you think you can name the other one? And then I’m gonna ask you if you think he counts or not.

Scott: (Thinking)

Wulf: (Waiting)

Scott: I don’t know.

Wulf: I will tell you that he shares the same vowel as you.

Scott: An O guy? Hmm, an O guy.

Wulf: He’s a lot of O.

Scott: I got nothin’.

Wulf: Moro Ojomo.

Scott: Ahhhhh. Got you.

Wulf: But my question is, his original name is Morotoluwa. But he goes by Moro. Do you think that counts? Do we …

Scott: I meannnnn ….

Wulf: I gotta ask him, I guess.

Scott: I mean, you gotta go by the government, you know what I mean? Whatever’s on that birth certificate.

Wulf: Or the NFLPA (NFL Players Association) name. That’s official, too.

Scott: Yeah. I don’t know! I would leave it up to him.

Wulf: OK. And has this thought ever occurred to you before about your name?

Scott: Never.

Wulf: I counted 43 guys in the NFL who have only one. The Os and As are tied at 16 each.

Scott: Ahhhh.

Wulf: There are some good, quality names here. Usually, I look for the full-sentence guys, like Jalen Hurts is a full sentence.

Scott: Yeah.

Wulf: But this year I’m expanding my research.

Scott: It’s interesting.

Wulf: Is it, though?

Scott: Yeah, it is actually.

Wulf: So I need to clarify, should I say that you’re 56 percent O or 40 percent O? Do we use the full first name or are we going just Moro?

Moro Ojomo: Moro, Morotoluwa. Whatever anybody feels like.

Wulf: OK. Because I’m looking at guys who have only the same vowel in their name …

Ojomo: Oh.

Wulf: So if we go with the first name, I need you to be the one to decide.

Ojomo: So, wait. Explain what you’re saying again.

Wulf: So you’ve got, it’s all Os. You’ve got five, right.

Ojomo: Moro, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wulf: And if it’s that, you have the most Os in the NFL of the guys with only O.

Ojomo: Right.

Wulf: But, if we’re going the full first name Morotoluwa?

Ojomo: Yeah.

Wulf: Then, obviously, you’ve got the U and the A. So what do we think?

Ojomo: I don’t know. I don’t know.

Wulf: OK.

Ojomo: First, they gotta say my last name right in the damn stadium.

Wulf: Oh, no. How did they say it?

Ojomo: I don’t know.

Wulf: Feels like that one’s not too hard.

Ojomo: It’s not that hard! I’m a get the, what’s it called?

Wulf: Pronunciation guide?

Ojomo: Pronunciation guide. And it sucks, too, because we’re in Philly, there are a lot of hard words out here. Like Manayunk. You got all these weird names.

Wulf: Schuylkill.

Ojomo: Yeah, exactly.

Fred Johnson: F— is Schuylkill? That’s a grown man’s name?

Ojomo: I think it’s a place.

Wulf: It’s a river.

Johnson: Oh, it’s a river.

Wulf: …

Ojomo: …

Wulf: …

Ojomo: Feel free to take whichever one you want.

Did you ever notice that “all-stars” only has one vowel in it? Presenting, for the first time, a new child to love.

(Top photo of Moro Ojomo: Andy Lewis / Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)