You’ve heard of safe words (I bet, you rascal), but have you heard about parenting safe words? Not just for fun, sexy occasions, parenting safe words can be a useful tool for helping your partner deescalate conflicts with the kids.
Locke Haman, a parenting coach, shared an Instagram video where he suggested taking safe words from the bedroom to the living room.
“Safe words aren’t just for kinky sex,” Haman said.
What are parenting safe words?
“Parenting safe words” are a way for parents to communicate with each other. You might use a parenting safe word to let your partner know that they need a break from dealing with the kids, and should probably step away to calm down and get some rest.
“It’s not as exciting as safe words in the bedroom, but it might drastically improve your parenting,” Haman joked.
It also has the added benefit of being a silly secret between parents.
“We know each other so well that we can communicate through facial expressions and just gestures. It drives our kids nuts,” Haman said. “Imagine the confusion when I’m in the middle of losing my temper and Mommy walks in and says, ‘Sassafras,’ like she’s casting a magic spell, and I just stop and walk away.”
“That’s like the holy grail of parenting,” he continued. “One, to mess with your kids, two, while deflating an explosive situation. And three, allowing your partner to save face because you use the safe word instead of yelling at them.”
Turns out, this is a pretty popular idea. Many parents commented that they use parenting safe words in their household, and even shared different ways they applied the concept.
“It works! Key is to use it early before the escalation and you forget everything except the target in front of you 
” said one user.
“We have a safe word that means ‘I know you don’t mean it but you’re being unkind to me rn, please stop,” offered another.
“I’ve also heard a safe word used when two people are in a disagreement to indicate that one might be getting defensive or need a break. Love this idea!” another shared.
It might not be the sexiest application of safe words, but if it works, it works!
