Two podcasters are catching heat on TikTok from moms after some controversial opinions from their podcast went viral. Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan host the I’ve Had It podcast where the two go off on certain topics that annoy them and rant about the people, places, and things that drive them nuts aka the things they’ve “had it” with.
Typically, Welch and Sullivan’s back-and-forth is quippy, funny, and their takes are of that “omgsotrue” variety.
However, on a recent episode of their podcast, their opinions left some with a sour taste in their mouth — which others admitted they agreed.
While talking about how they have “had it” with people who claim to be super busy yet are typically the one with “nothing going on,” Welch starts to talk about women whose husbands are the “bread winners” in their family — and stay-at-home mom rhetoric in general.
“I know women whose husbands are the primary breadwinner, and they don’t have to have a job. And like, I remember one friend of mine, I was like, ‘So, you don’t have to work,’” she says before imitating her friend, “‘Oh no, I work.’ That’s why I’m like, ‘Okay, well then I work three jobs.’”
“Right,” Sullivan agrees.
Welch goes on to say that when stay-at-home moms say that being a mother is a job, she agrees to a certain extent but also sees homemaking as just “living your life.”
“You know, if we’re gonna throw that in, like sometimes women wanna say, and it is being a mother is a job, but it’s also like just living your life … and, you know, we can’t criticize men for saying, ‘Hey, I babysat my kid.’ And then as women go, ‘Being a mother is a hard job.’”
Welch then says that being able to be a stay-at-home mom is a privilege in the eyes of working moms. She says that stay-at-home moms “do nothing but make gourmet lunches and gluten-free cookies and pick your outfit of the day for drop off.”
“A lot of mothers, the majority of mothers around the globe, have a job, and they have to raise their kids, like a real job,” she said.
“So, the ones that only do the mothering that say that’s their full-time job, that is privilege. That is a gift. That is an absolute luxury that you can do that and do nothing but make gourmet lunches and gluten-free cookies and pick your outfit of the day for drop off. I mean, that is true privilege.”
She takes up issue with stay-at-home moms who say that they, too, have a full-time job, telling them that she wants to tell them to “f**k off.”
Sullivan chimes in and says, “I mean, it is a full-time job. It’s hard work. There’s no question, but it’s not, I mean, it’s full-time work, but it’s not a job under the employment contract.”
“Right, but it doesn’t … it’s a false equivalency to compare that with somebody who works 40 hours a week and does the same,” Welch argues.
While they both agree that being a stay-at-home mom has its own challenges, at the end of the day, it is a luxury compared to those working-class families who are trying to make ends meet.
“To be able to say, ‘Oh, my full-time job is staying at home and taking care of my children,’ for people that are working a couple of jobs, trying to get gas in their car, and don’t have health insurance because our country’s so whack, and the minimum wage is so low, they’re looking at that one and going, ‘B**ch, you don’t know what having a full-time job is,” Sullivan says.
The opinionated and straight-forward clip went viral, with several TikTok users agreeing with the women’s hot take.
“THANK YOU! I’ve had it to with people saying being a stay at home mom is the hardest job in the world. Hell no! Working and being a mom is the hardest!” one user said.
“I agree. I’ve done both. With that being said, it’s a different kind of tired you get from both,” one user said.
Another said, “I’ve done both, and they’re both equally difficult. But being a SAHM is definitely a luxury, and I’m very lucky.”
One user pointed out probably the worst and hardest type of mom — the work from home mom.
“Working from home & being a mom = the worst of both worlds. Constant stress, laundry between meetings, no work life separation,” they said.
Several users agreed with her with one replying, “Thank you for saying this! It’s never ending, I honestly don’t know how I get through the day sometimes!”
Other moms weren’t sold on the idea that being a stay-at-home mom was any sort of luxury.
“I would love to be working a ‘real job.’ But daycare for 2 kids would cost nearly $3,000 monthly. It’s more cost effective to stay home, not a luxury,” one noted.
The polarizing podcast clip was also posted to the I’ve Had It Instagram account where moms had some pretty harsh words for Sullivan and Welch, calling them mom-shamers.
“This is absolutely GARBAGE. Some women are stuck being a stay at home parent because the cost of childcare is outrageous. Some women would love to work and can’t because their paychecks would barely cover daycare. This is not a privilege to some but rather the harsh reality that women are the default parent and expected to put their lives on pause,” one user wrote.
Another said, “Ohhhh so unnecessary to pitch women against each other over and over again. The real problem is the lack of actual support from men and the lack of access to affordable childcare aka the real problem is The Patriarchy. Let’s band together and change that ol’ system. Women shaming women is not the vibe.”
“I work full time but this is really a shitty message. I hope your delivery was off on this. Having the choice to stay home and raise children is a privilege that not everyone can afford but the other crap you say is bullshit,” another said.
Some parents in the comments just want to put an end to the whole debate of “which type of mom has it the hardest?” and just wants everyone to agree that the expectations for moms are impossible no matter which kind of job you’re working.
“Absolutely a luxury and gift. However, I just hate the SAHM vs. working mom war. I stay at home and can’t imagine also having a job. My bff works and couldn’t imagine staying at home and doing it allllllll for child rearing. We both respect each other to the highest degree! Moms are amazing,” they said.
I think there is definitely room for both of these things to be true, right? Working moms have a different kind of hard coming their way, especially if they’re a single mom or a married single mom. Having a supportive partner or a grandparent village can make a world of difference for a full-time working mom. Stay-at-home moms get little adult interaction, dealing with being touched constantly all day, and get little alone time.
This topic is a touchy subject with a lot of gray, so let’s all just band together as moms and agree that we’re all just doing the best we can.