“You move here and by default are just part of the Mexican community,” says Shea Serrano, the New York Times bestselling author, TV writer, and NBA Twitter main character. He’s talking about his hometown of San Antonio, and its instant adoption of Victor Wembanyama, the 7’4” wunderkind rookie for his beloved Spurs. “Did you see that thing where as soon as he landed, somebody handed him a brown paper bag with breakfast tacos? That’s the first thing that happens: some Mexican woman says, ‘Here you go. Welcome to the city.’”
I’d asked Serrano what advice he had for a Parisian in South Texas. Now, Jason Concepcion—podcast host (Binge Mode, X-Ray Vision), co-writer of Serrano’s on the Amazon show Primo and the Hulu feature film called Miguel Wants To Fight, and first-ballot NBA Twitter Hall of Famer under the nom de Tweet @netw3rk—pipes in. “What did Tony Parker do?” he asks his longtime collaborator. “What did Boris Diaw do?”
“There is a crepe place. One crepe place,” Serrano says, grinning. “I guess he can go eat there every day.”
That’s the sort of left-field hoops analysis the two bring to their new basketball podcast Six Trophies, delivered with their distinctive brand of pure joy and a well-earned bit of side-eye for the oft-eccentric league. Each week, they’ll give out pop-culture-themed trophies for standout on-court and off-court performances. Long-time fans will not be surprised that one of the recurring trophies is Fast and the Furious-themed; another, won on last week’s debut episode by former Warriors #2 draft pick James Wiseman, is named for the hook of Linkin Park’s Mike Shinoda’s side project mini-hit “Remember the Name.”
With pro basketball tipping off on October 24th, we asked Serrano and Concepcion to share their very specific answers to our most pressing questions about the 2023-24 NBA season.
Okay, Question 1: This offseason, Damian Lillard tried and failed to force his way to the Miami Heat. James Harden, who’s already on the Mt. Rushmore of NBA chaos agents, is currently trying to get traded. Based on recent NBA history, Zion Williamson, Luka Dončić, Joel Embiid, or another All-Star will ask out soon. If you’re hired tomorrow to creative direct the next disgruntled superstar’s exit, what ideas are you pitching?
Shea Serrano: If I was Luka, and I wanted to get out of Dallas, I would just start saying how much I enjoyed the food somewhere. Like, “Man, New Orleans? The food! It’s just the best.” And I would just bring it up in every interview. No matter what the question was asked, it would just somehow get back to that. You never say you want to get traded there. But if they’re like, “What happened there? Y’all didn’t score the last two minutes.” You just say, “The offense fell flat. But you know what’s not flat? The flavors on a Cuban sandwich in Miami.” Just do that every single time and never say, “I want to get traded.” Because we’ve seen the limits of a player just being like “I want to go to Miami.” It didn’t work. So, I think you gotta go the opposite way. Now you gotta go subtle. You gotta be nuanced with it.
And what about advice for Zion?
Jason Concepcion: Um, oh, gosh… well, I think Zion’s doing a good job. [laughs] He can take a lot of the stuff he’s been iterating over the summer and just kind of move it forward. Folks can Google that.