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I am on record as an awards-show lover. I love the awful red-carpet interviews with brain-dead correspondents, the forced collaborative performances, the outfits, and the celebrities trying to one-up each other. These shows are a freak-off, and the MTV VMAs have always been the freakiest, most low-stakes version. There have been countless classic moments over the years: Drake awkwardly professing his love for Rihanna while presenting her with the unfortunately named Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, Justin Bieber sobbing uncontrollably while performing, Lady Gaga rocking the infamous meat dress, “Imma Let You Finish”-gate with Kanye West and Taylor Swift, Britney Spears and Madonna kissing, Diana Ross jiggling Lil Kim’s semi-exposed breast, and of course Spears performing “I’m a Slave 4 U” with a giant yellow python wrapped around her neck. The show has always been a spectacle, manufacturing viral moments before the advent of Instagram and TikTok. But is it still relevant in 2024?
I have been to the VMAs twice. Once, in 2006, in a professional capacity, when I was managing a band. The Killers opened with “When We Were Young” and Jack Black hosted. I spent most of my time in the bathroom partying. The biggest takeaway was walking by Paris Hilton at the height of her powers. She was glowing, radiating star power, stomping through Radio City Music Hall with her size 11 Louboutins. I went again in 2019, and it was much less glamorous. Naomi Fry and I took a bus to the Prudential Center in Newark and witnessed a weird show hosted by Sebastian Maniscalco. The lone high point was a fantastic, career-spanning performance by Missy Elliot. Regardless, my takeaway was the show had lost its luster in the 13 years since I had first attended. There is nowhere less glamorous than Newark.
This year’s installment takes place tonight at Long Island’s UBS Arena, a far cry figuratively and physically from Radio City. Of course, they have all the girlies lined up to perform: Chappell Roan, Sabrina Carpenter, and Megan Thee Stallion, who is also hosting. Do Chappell Roan fans even know how to find an MTV awards show? I guess we will find out. But the biggest head-scratcher is the show’s heavily promoted opening performance by none other than Eminem, one of the least cool musicians walking the face of planet Earth.
Eminem and MTV have always had a symbiotic relationship. He first soared to mega-fame as the designated heel of the Total Request Live era, unleashing his battle-rap-honed skills to mock boy bands and Britney Spears. He needed MTV to supply him with material by endlessly platforming lightweight teen idols for him to crudely insult; MTV needed him to shore up the rebel cred it had lost by hard-pivoting away from rock. So maybe it’s no surprise that when MTV throws an awards show and needs to pretend there’s still a coherent monoculture for it to speak to, it speed-dials Slim Shady. And he usually takes the call—his most recent VMA appearance was just two years ago, when he and Snoop Dogg performed onstage at the Prudential Center and also in the metaverse, as their Bored Ape Yacht Club avatars.
