So many of us were already dog moms (or cat moms) before we had our real-life, human kids. They were our first babies. We ordered socks with their faces on them. They were featured in our holiday cards. We took them to dog-friendly patios and stores. They also gave us our first taste of responsibility and caring for something other than ourselves.
They were the center of many of our worlds — until baby came along.
Our furry children typically get put on the back burner after kids come along. It’s just what usually happens, and no one is really to blame. Once that little bundle of joy needs your every waking moment of attention, the idea of walking a dog, making sure their nails are trimmed and their hair is groomed seems like more of a burden than something we previously did with pleasure.
Kids come first, that’s just reality!
When one mom noted this truth, she was met with vitriol from some, claiming she shouldn’t be a mother at all — to her pets or her kids!
“The most hate I have ever received online … was when I got on Instagram after having a baby and prior to that being just a crazy dog mom and said, ‘Yep! They weren’t joking. These two things are not comparable,’” Sarah Biggers-Stewart explained, referring to being a dog mom versus an actual mom.
“And I wasn’t even talking about like the love and the fulfillment and the rewarding [experience]; I was talking about the effort I have to put into my dog versus my human baby and toddler. Not the same. People did not like that.”
Biggers-Stewart even noted that she received death threats and got doxxed after her take.
“I had people telling me they were calling DCFS and Animal Control because I clearly could not be taking good care of either as such a callous person. You know what the funny part is? Not one of them who have these really strong, visceral reactions had experienced both [being a dog mom and a mom]. They were all just dog parents,” she said.
“Not a single one of them had actually lived the experience of being a pet person, a dog parent — obsessed with your dog and then also having kids and realizing that the obsession isn’t really as sustainable even though you are still obsessed with your dog. Does that make sense?”
Biggers-Stewart swears that pets can still be a special and fulfilling part of a person’s life. People don’t have to have children to feel that sort of love and purpose. What Biggers-Stewart was saying is that the responsibility, the commitment, and the consequences of having a real, human child are completely different than that of a puppy.
“Pets can still be very very fulfilling and people don’t have to have kids, but to say that they are the same thing, or to say that you cannot understand how having a child would change your dynamic with your dog… y’all need Jesus,” she joked.
I cannot recall a single time that my Great Pyrenees forgot their lunch at school and I had to go bring it to them or had me up every hour on the hour, cluster feeding on my boobs for a week straight. I never question how, the way I am speaking, acting, etc. will affect my Great Pyrenees’ mental health, confidence, and overall personhood in the future.
I love my dog. I love her snuggles and the way her ears perk up when I say “treat!” but there is no comparison to that of a real-life child, and people without children just won’t know until they know!
