There have been some pretty big baby name controversies in the past, but this one is a doozy. You might want to have a seat, read a relaxing passage from your worn copy of 100,000+ Baby Names and prepare for the worst.
It all went down on Reddit’s infamous “Am I The A**hole?” forum, where a shocked and confused mom wanted to know if she was in the right to get upset about a baby name. Now, in many cases getting upset over a baby’s name can be a bit of an overreaction. But in this case, welp, read on.
Here’s the context: Over a decade ago, the poster had a drunk hook-up, got pregnant, and kept the baby. She now has a 10-year-old daughter and a pretty good co-parenting relationship with the girl’s bio dad and her ex-one-night-stand. Now, he has moved in with his girlfriend and they are having a child.
“She fell pregnant and i’ve been supportive to them both as much as I could be without crossing any lines,” she wrote. “I’ve encouraged my daughter to help out whenever she’s staying with them during the pregnancy and to behave, I’ve also made it clear that I want the children to have a close relationship despite having different Mothers, I’ve even said that if they were comfortable with it on nights I have my daughter if they ever want time alone I’ll babysit once they have the baby so my daughter can spend time with her sibling.”
That all sounds very nice.
“All in all, I thought everything was great and I was excited for my daughter to have a sibling as she’s always wanted one but I had no interest in having another child,” she added.
Then the baby was born and the trouble started.
“Three days ago my friend and his girlfriend had a daughter, they asked me to bring my daughter to the hospital to meet her little sister yesterday alongside others of the family,” she continued. “So I did exactly that but when they introduced us to the baby I was shocked. They’d used my daughters name. She didn’t seem to have any issue with this when she introduced the baby bold as brass. My friend seemed uncomfortable and wouldn’t look at me directly. I asked them what they were playing at, at which point my friends father said he’d take my daughter down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and left with her.”
“My friend told me to calm down and not overreact while his girlfriend told me she didn’t see the issue and it was a pretty name,” she wrote. “I asked them if they’d named the baby for my daughter trying to understand the logic here but his girlfriend said that no it was just a pretty name she liked. I then asked if they planned to use a nickname or a middle name when addressing to her on a daily basis and her response was that she didn’t see a need for that.”
At this point, the poster kind of loses it.
“I told them they were being ridiculous and that they couldn’t do this, I then told his girlfriend that I found this frankly creepy and told my friend he was being spineless if he was happy to go along with this,” she explained. “He tried to claim our daughter could use a nickname or something but I shut that down immediately asking why it was more reasonable for a girl who has used that name for a decade to share her name compared to a baby who had no concept of what a name was yet.”
The friend and his girlfriend did not take kindly to her thoughts and feelings.
“His girlfriend told me I was being a b*tch talking to her like that after she just gave birth and asked the nurses to remove me saying I was being disruptive,” she said. “Maybe my temper is running a little too hot though and I was too harsh on her when she just gave birth. It’s just so f*cking weird.”
After posting, she added some clarifying details.
“I’d also like to state, I know that what they want to name their child is their choice, they could have called her Dinosaur for all I care but this is one name that should be off limits or adjusted,” she concluded. “They even have the same surname as they have the same father…Something about it just felt malicious and deliberate as if she’s trying to replace my daughter and for them both to spring it on us like that at the first meeting? No that was weird.”
Down in the comments, pretty much everyone had the same thought: that is really, really, weird and inappropriate.
“From the outside it sure reads like she wants to replace her partner’s affection for his first daughter with his new baby. Of course it’s creepy,” one person wrote.
“That is so unfair to the baby as well,” another added. “To be used a competition prop and not a person that deserves their own place in this world.”
“Worse than creepy. Calculated and manipulative,” another wrote. “She wants to get rid of OP and chose the nuclear option by attacking her daughter. I can see OPs relationship with the baby daddy being threatening to an insecure person due to it being seemingly (previously) a healthy friendship and not an ex that she can replace.”
Many were also concerned with legal issues and security issues related to the choice.
“Maybe I’m paranoid, but OP should lock down her daughter’s credit immediately. Her daughter will have to keep it that way throughout her life. What a perfect set up for identity theft and fraud,” one wrote.
“This sounds like a social security nightmare,” another added.
There are so many names out there. There is just no sensible explanation for this. And there’s no upside for either of the kids caught up in the drama of the adults.