You know that feeling you get about a week ahead of a so-called relaxing vacation, when you have to do laundry to pack, but then you have to do laundry again the day before you leave, so you have to leave some room in the suitcase, and the fact that there’s an unzipped, three-quarters-full suitcase lying on your bedroom floor fills you with total anxiety? Yes?
Okay, well, one dad is not familiar.
“The day before my family travels anywhere, my wife carries a certain amount of stress that I can’t seem to alleviate, and it’s about the kids, it’s about the dog, it’s about the timing, it’s the whole thing,” a dad said in a video posted to TikTok. “I don’t really feel this way, but I’m wondering, do other moms feel this way? And what do you want from a husband to help make it easier?”
Yes, other moms feel this way, and one stitched the video to explain exactly why: enter Paige Turner.
“Chances are, your wife is carrying the bulk of the mental load and the work required to make this trip happen,” she said.
Turner explained that, in this situation, it’s likely that the mom feels responsible for organizing the trip, getting a dog sitter, and packing for the rest of the family, while the dad is only responsible for himself.
“If your wife is stressed out, chances are you’re not doing your fair share,” she said.
Turner added that she doesn’t know the couple or their relationship, but if this is what’s going down, it’s time for the dad to take on more of the vacation prep.
“You need to know who needs what. You need to be packing things. You can coordinate the dog sitter,” she said. “And please, whatever you do, do not ask her to make you a list or to tell you what to do, because that is half of the work.”
The comments agreed with Turner that dads often don’t pull their weight when it comes to vacation.
“It’s not a vacation when you have small kids. It’s an away game. A lot of Dads don’t get that like at all,” one user said.
“And you just know in his mind he’s like ‘why is she so stressed?? It always works out and we always have a great time!’” said another.
Another user shared a simple hack for dads wondering how they can help (ie, do their job as a parent).
“Imagine you had no wife. Now, what would need to get done to make the trip happen? Do that,” she wrote. Sounds easy enough! Now, dads, GO!
