Your kid is probably going to lie to you at some point — yes, even the sweetest, most angelic, could-do-no-wrong kid. I mean, poking your sister (physically or emotionally) until she cries and then exclaiming “I didn’t do it” is practically a right of passage.
A fib here and there might be inevitable, but one mom has a suggestion for parents: If you want your kid to tell the truth, don’t set them up to lie. You might be thinking, “Well, obviously.” But, you may not even recognize the common phrase you’re using that perfectly lays the groundwork for lying.
In a video posted to her TikTok, @unsolicitedsarcasm, toddler mom Stefany shared her advice to avoid putting your kid in the perfect position to perjure themself.
“Don’t set your kids up to lie. If you walk into a room and you see your kid with a marker in their hand and scribbles on the wall, don’t look at your kid and say, ‘Did you color on the wall?’ You know they colored on the wall,” Stefany said.
That’s it, folks. Just don’t ask your kid if they did something when you already know they did. If they lie in response, it will only make the situation worse, by making your child feel guilty, and you upset or disappointed.
“Create a space where they can be open and truthful without fear of punishment,” Stefany added.
“I’ve only been an aunt for seven years and a mom for three years, but I was once sent to a child psychologist because my parents thought it was a pathological liar. So I think I’m qualified to speak on the matter,” she joked.
Commenters found Stefany’s advice to be on point.
“Our pediatrician told us that if ‘no’ is not an acceptable answer, then that should not have been a question. Spot on!” one user said.
“THIS! I try to do this with them,” another added. “I want them to feel like they can be truthful instead of being forced to lie out of fear.”
As for what to say instead of the typical “did you do X” reaction, a user shared her own insight.
“For people wondering what to say: my mom always just said what she saw “I see you colored on the wall” and that would open up a conversation about why I did that,” she said.
A simple rephrasing could help you encourage your kid to be the honest, stand-up member of society you know them to be. Whether it will stop them from coloring on the wall is another story.
