Picture this: You finally have a quiet night to yourself. Your kids are out of the house. You’re alone and loving it, so you light some candles, climb under the sheets, and grab your favorite sex toy. Or maybe you draw a hot bath and just go manual with a little rub-a-dub action. Either way, you’ve got one goal in mind: to make your way to Pleasureville. Sounds pretty sweet, right?
The reality is, you don’t need a reason to masturbate — but as women, as moms, as partners — we all too often shrug off the desire or urge, sometimes even feeling shame or guilt for thinking of it. In fact, it looks like the orgasm gap between men and women isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Explains sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW and certified sex therapist, “Research across studies states that men orgasm more than women, largely due to messages women receive and perpetuate regarding accepting that masturbation can be a normal activity.”
And while there isn’t a lot of literature regarding masturbation, Howard cites a 2022 study published in Sexuality and Culture that focuses on masturbatory behavior and body image: [It] reports that masturbation is not known to cause issues with sexual disorders. Masturbation can be healthy in various ways, and some you might not have considered.”
So, let’s make the case for masturbation. Keep reading to discover some of the health benefits of self-pleasure, aka all the reasons you should make a date with yourself for later tonight.
1. Pleasure, Duh
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, masturbation is an important part of your sexuality. It allows you to enjoy some toe-curling sexual satisfaction while also learning more about your body and what turns you on. Bonus: It’s easily accessible! You can do it solo or with a partner, and it can involve sex toys, lube, or simply your own hand. It’s a self-exploration of what feels good to you in terms of touch, pressure, and technique that can (but doesn’t have to) lead you to orgasm.
2. Stress Reduction
Feeling a little tense? Maybe a little burnt out? It might be time to work out those frustrations.
“One major way that masturbation proves to be healthy and beneficial is by alleviating stress. The Masturbatory Behavior and Body Image Study report that women who masturbated two or three times a week reported a reduction in stress,” says Howard, adding, “In addition to masturbating for pleasure, women report that they masturbate to release sexual tension, to relax, and to help with sleep.”
3. Relationship Satisfaction
If you’re worried your partner will take issue with you adding self-pleasure to your self-care routine, tell them this little tidbit — masturbation is shown to have a positive impact on marital satisfaction. Women masturbate “to explore their sexual likes and dislikes,” says Howard, and research has shown that this “helps with sexual satisfaction in those who are partnered and unpartnered.”
4. Mental and Emotional Health
One of the most commonly cited reasons for women’s disinterest in sex (and general low self-esteem) is being unhappy with their bodies. But, as Howard points out, “[The above study] also found that the more a person masturbated, the less body shame and guilt they felt.”
5. Protection Against Certain Infections
Well, here’s a fun fact they don’t teach you in health or sex ed class: Masturbating can help prevent cervical infections and relieve urinary tract infections. Women have even been documented as reporting an urge to masturbate when they feel a UTI coming on, and there’s an explanation for that — in addition to offering pain relief, masturbation leads to lubrication, which flushes bacteria from the cervix.
6. Better Sleep
There’s a reason so many of us take a little trip to Pleasureville as we’re winding down for the night — orgasms lead to the release of dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which make you feel good and relaxed. And that, in turn, makes for a much more restful sleep.
7. The Fountain of Youth?
Having the big O on a regular basis is known to help keep you looking younger. According to a 2009 study at the University of Michigan, orgasms raise estrogen levels. Estrogen levels contribute to skin remaining youthful for longer, including preventing the decrease of collagen, a protein hailed as the holy grail of skin vitality.
8. Pelvic Floor Strengthening
Healthy estrogen production also helps support your vagina’s elasticity. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests that orgasms could even strengthen your pelvic floor, muscles that support your organs, keep you from leaking when you laugh, sneeze, or jump (childbirth will wreck ya!), and play a vital role in sexual function. Basically, the muscle contractions you have when you climax are like little kegel exercises!
9. Perimenopausal and Menopausal Symptom Relief
Whether you’ve started to experience the symptoms of perimenopause or the full-blown effects of menopause, you understand how uncomfortable this time can be for you down there. With estrogen and progesterone dropping, you may experience irregular menstrual cycles, vaginal atrophy, vaginal dryness, and more. But masturbation pumps up blood flow to the area, which promotes more lubrication. And we already know it can help strengthen the pelvic floor, which fights off atrophy. So, score another one for self-pleasure!
10. An A+ Immune System
Research suggests that orgasms may increase immune function, with sexual arousal activating components of the immune system. Although the hard scientific data on this is scarce, we do know that masturbating relieves stress and promotes better sleep, and getting there (to the big O) is physical — all of which are great for your immune system.
Are there any hard and fast rules when it comes to masturbation? Not really. You should masturbate whenever you want. Like any sexual activity, how often you masturbate will depend on the person. Some folks might feel comfortable masturbating daily, while others might do it a few times a week. Do what feels right… and, more to the point, do what feels good.
